Murphy's computer laws:

1) If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.
2) If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.
3) Any given program will expand to fill all the available memory.
4) The value of a program is inversely proportional to the weight of its output.
5) Bugs will appear in one part of a working program when another 'unrelated' part is modified.
6) A system software crash will cause hardware to act strangely and the programmers will blame the customer engineer.
7) Undetectable errors are infinite in variety, in contrast to detectable errors, which by definition are limited.
8) A working program is one that has only unobserved bugs.
9) No matter how many resources you have, it is never enough.
10) Software bugs are impossible to detect by anybody except the end user.
Corollary: Luckily end users are almost infinite!
11) If a circuit requires n components, then there will be only n - 1 components in locally-held stocks.
12) All Constants are Variables
13) In a transistor circuit protected by a fuse, the transistor will always blow to protect the fuse.
14) Computers don't make errors-What they do they do on purpose.
15) Each computer code has five bugs, and tis number does not depend on how many bugs have been already found (it is conservative).
16) The number of bugs always exceeds the number of lines found in a program.
17) A chain letter - will be sent.  To global.  A dozen times.
18) A patch is a piece of software which replaces old bugs with new bugs.
19) The chances of a program doing what it's supposed to do is inversely proportional to the number of lines of code used to write it.
20) Failure is not an option, it's included with the software.
21) It's not a bug, it's an undocumented feature.
22) Bugs mysteriously appear when you say, "Watch this!"
Corollary: If you call another programmer over to see if he knows what's wrong the bug disappears.
23) Non Crash Operating System aren't.
24) Real programmers don't comment their code. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.
25) Law of Acceleration:
A computer that has surpassed its user's frustration capacity (FC) will accelerate downwards at 9.8 meters per second squared.
26) Computers let you waste time efficiently.
27) 90% of a programmer errors come from data from other programmers.
28) 'Illegal Error' messages only happen when you forget to save your work.
29) If you make the letters in your Word document bigger and then you print it out, you'll have everything on the first page and only one line on the second.
30) No matter what problem you have with your computer - Its Always Microsoft's fault
Corollary: If its not their fault - Blame them anyway :-)

Murphy's Law of Research:

1) Enough research will tend to support whatever theory.
2) Research supports a specific theory depending on the amount of funds dedicated to it.

Murphy's technology laws:

1) Technology is dominated by those who manage what they do not understand.
2) An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.
3) New systems generate new problems.
4) The primary function of the design engineer is to make things difficult for the fabricator and impossible for the serviceman.
5) Any circuit design must contain at least one part which is obsolete, two parts which are unobtainable and three parts which are still under development.
6) If mathematically you end up with the incorrect answer, try multiplying by the page number.
7) Computers are unreliable, but humans are even more unreliable. Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable.
8) If you can't understand it, it is intuitively obvious.
9) If it's not in the computer, it doesn't exist.
10) The remaining work to finish in order to reach your goal increases as the deadline approaches.

The Rossemblat Graphic Insult Theory:

When any technological change is made, we have a graphic insult curve. No mater how high the insult curve climb, the important thing is how long it goes.